no preschooler would dare fuck around in your class :)

get back to your seats now!

*children cowering in fear*
yes miss saskia!

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I've got some aquaintances that age. They're already exceptionally well-behaved children so I don't have to bust on 'em when I'm around them. They call me Aunt Sausage. They can't say Saskia.

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sausage is much better than trasha :-D

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When people meet Laurell K. Hamilton (SF/Fantasy/Horror author), she tells them she's an author, and they invariably reply, "oh - children's books?"

Don't know if you've ever seen any of her books, but it's heavy-duty vampire murder mystery type stuff. Definitely not children's books.

Darned if she doesn't look like a preschool teacher, though - adorable, with laughing eyes and delicate features and a light, soft-spoken southern drawl. You could totally just sop her up with a biscuit, but she writes slasher novels.

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Oh I'd do more than sop her up..I've seen her photo...

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but I've read a few of her books. I suspect that the more we let fly with our dark "side" (I think it's a spectrum, not a polarity) in whatever ways we do, instead of repressing it all at all times, the more lighthearted we can be the rest of the time. Or even during. ; )

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Definitely agreeing with you there.

Although it can be irritating sometimes...
Eight years into this as a career, and I'm still getting the "you're too cute/pretty/happy/funny/polite/nice/considerate/whatever-good-quality-I'm-expressing" to be a (*gasp*) sadist/Domme/bondage-enthusiast/mad-scientist/whatever-fetish-aspect-they're-tweaking-out-about".

:-p
pbbthh


I'm going to have this saying framed, and put up in the dungeon foyer:
"Never mistake good manners for weakness"

Maybe create my own "motivational poster", with a big cat having her coat brushed or something equally "aw - but she'll still eat you, given half a chance!"

*snorts*

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Amen to the "never mistake good manners...". I'd add "never mistake kindness for weakness".

The people who seem least likely to project that crap and are able to instantly think of the potential fun have been women in their late 40s and 50s or older. They get this slow grin as it hits them what the day-to-day must be like most of the time and they just love it. One doctor in her late 40s thought about it for two seconds, smiled and said, "That must be very therapeutic". I grinned back and said, "Uh huh. It sure is."

I saw my doctor yesterday and Boy was with me cuz he has a sinus infection, too. She came in, all mildly flustered and smiling and asked "Is that your boy out there?" I wasn't sure if she meant "is that your son" cuz of the age difference, but I said yes. She was so tickled about real live kinky people there together and everything. She's a total hippy, too, and was asking me about whether past life stuff might be what's causing an ongoing health issue or not. I asked if she meant was I a Sioux warrior in my last life and scalped a bunch of settlers and she said, "Right! Anything like that, you think?", dead serious. I told her only if several cousins had the same shitty karma and she nodded sympathetically and gave me a huge hug when it was time to go. Total hippy.

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Well, I'm not always kind.
But I'm invariably polite.

It's that darned 3rd world education.
I'd shoot a mugger or a kidnapper, in very painful, non-lethal places - but I'd be polite about it. *toothy grin*


And that was too cute, about your doctor.
*grins*

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http://www.hour25online.com/pix/laurell-k-hamilton_2004_02a.jpg

When I first met her, she hadn't done anything to adjust her outward image to the genre she writes. She had wire-rimmed glasses and a tendency toward pastels. And of course, she was 20 years younger.

Apparently she's wearing contacts these days, and seems to like red lipstick.

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I used to know a woman in her late 50s who had silver hair and apple cheeks and the kind of body grandkids like best to snuggle with. She could take a good beating and loved humiliation play (I'll tell you sometime about what I did to her at a concert), but when she was at home knitting scarves for friends and family, she watched K-9 porn and thought it was kind of a bummer that the dogs had to be coaxed into doing all that stuff cuz it would be more fun if they were really into it, too.

That taught me more than anything else to never think a mild outward appearance had any relation to an inner life. Some of the most boring, sexually timid and conservative people I've met have been covered in tattoos and piercings with shaved heads and sneers.

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ROFL! That's really funny, when you consider that her main character Anita Blake is LKH's Mary Sue, right down to her physical description.

But you mean LKH's books used to be vampire-murder-mystery books. Now they're just porn.

Three or four chapters per sex scene for every chapter of plot. (I counted, once.) And since the main character became a succubus a few books ago, there are about twenty or more sex scenes per book.

I have nothing against porn. I like porn. But when I want porn, I'll buy it.

But I still enjoy her first 7 or 8 books in that series, up through the one with the BDSM-club-operating were-hyenas. Everything past that... meh.

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Be sure and check the seal on that pressure cooker BEFORE you use it..A buddy of mine had one fail while he was standing in front of it....cooking in the nude.....and yes it was nearly at waist level for him as he was 6'6"

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i'd rather not be on the unhappy side of an explosion of hot plasma

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how DO you check the seal? I don't know what to look for. Rotted rubber?

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Occasionally, when I'm feeling in the mood to fuck with people, I tell them I train german shepherds for pornographic films. Do you realize how difficult it is to say that with a straight face? Worth it though. >:-)

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I make up bland stuff, like "I'm a behavioral modification specialist" or "I'm a social boundaries consultant". I'd love to be there when you tell people that. I'd blush and look shy on cue and wince while I make comments about how we really need to find a dog groomer who is good with toenails, can they recommend any, cuz ours just don't stick around.

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bwahahah!

"social boundaries consultant".

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When I started seeing couples, I changed my business license to alternative lifestyle consultant.

But those are awesome too.
*laughs*

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I like couples. I love it when little old ladies bring their errant husbands in for discipline, complete with a list of offenses.

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Hehehe!

Those are my favorites!!!
*grins*

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I still remember reading some of that list:

- Was rude to me in front of my friends
- Is not helping with the checkbook
- Is not taking his daily walks
- Is drinking too much

And I was to cane his ass to shreds and then take a pic of it with the camera she'd sent along. She came in person now and then, all too rarely. She was cute as anything.

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*laughs*

Lovely!

I bet it kept their marriage healthier than regular counseling.
That's what I hear from my couples, at any rate.

It really encourages the honesty and communication.


*toothy grin*

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*laughs* I'm pretty sure that at some point, when trying to list all the skills someone has to have to do your job; "preschool teacher" was actually on the list somewhere... possibly between "cat herder" and "EMT".

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and two days later, I took a client/friend/"4yo girl" to see Despereaux and then we came back to the dungeon and I read "Beck and the Great Berry Battle" while s/he colored in Tinkerbell coloring books. Banzai thought coloring books and crayons were very interesting and got yelled at a lot.

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Pre-school teacher, dominatrix. Same difference.

Cat herder... heh....

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