| The Bug Bite Song |
[Jul. 9th, 2009|02:41 pm] |
Something freakin'* bit me
It really freakin' bit me
Something bit me and it really sucks
It bit me on my foot
And it itches quite a lot
Something bit me and it freakin' sucks**
*trying not to say 'fucking' so much
**I composed this in the bathtub while scratching my foot. I reached up for my towel and a little black spider fell out and I screamed like a... an easily frightened person. |
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| "Cuz United Breaks Guitars" |
[Jul. 8th, 2009|11:36 am] |
A band I've never heard of before today - Sons of Maxwell - made this Youtube music video after spending a year tryng without success to get United to cover damages to a $,3500 guitar the band members witnessed being thrown around by baggage handlers. A friend was just telling me about how he'll never put kink toys in carryon luggage again after a TSA agent berated him about being a freak after pulling out all his items and quizzing him about the use of each one. I'm more and more disgusted with the liberties and abuses the airline industry and TSA is taking with passengers these days, so... enjoy the video, even if you don't like C&W (like me):
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| Zot! |
[Jul. 7th, 2009|12:03 pm] |
I took the dog boys to a nearby dog park last night. A man who was there with his three sons and their dog was very curious about the shock collar Banzai was wearing. His dog looks like a pit mix and still has a big swinging nutsac, and, while the dog isn't hostile to other dogs, he does like to play rough and that tends to freak out other dog owners at the dog park. I watched his dog for an hour and he was really calm and just liked playing. He listened when his owner called to him and behaved himself very nicely, but I was keeping an eye on him because he was huge, muscular and intact and I assumed the worst.
So I was talking with him about the shock collar. He'd never seen them or heard of them. He was thinking it might be helpful to get one even though his dog listens to him just fine and obeys instantly, but that it might keep other dog owners from getting all anxious about his dog if they knew he was on an electronic leash. I agreed that it might, but said it didn't seem necessary to me. I told him that OTOH, a shock collar was leash-law compliant, and since he prefers walking his dog off a regular leash, that might be an option. He was calm with his dog and not micromanaging it, while still keeping an eye on his kids and his dog. I figured he wouldn't be the type to go crazy with the button, so I took the unit off Banzai and showed him the remote and the unit and how the tone works without a zap and how to train using that once the dog understands a zap is coming if they don't step lively. He was curious about how much it hurt. I told him it wasn't all that bad and that I'd tried it out on myself. I didn't say that I'd tried it out on a whole lot of boy parts first, but I offered to let him feel it on his hand so he could get an idea what the sensation is like. He declined, saying, "Nah, I'm afraid I'd like it too much." I raised an eyebrow at him and gave him a bland smile. Oh? "Yeah, I like pain way too much. I probably shouldn't try that thing in case I like it too much." I told him that it's possible to get much shorter collars fitted to the unit so that it can be attached to other body parts. He grinned at me. I told him how to shop around online for the units, so if he's got internet access, he'll probably be doing that soon.
In other news, I was at my sister's for a BBQ block party out in the depths of the burbs for July 4. I sat around for about an hour without really interacting with anyone. I was trying to be on good behavior and I have no idea how to talk to people in the burbs because I don't watch American Idol or have a kid to take to soccer matches. Eventually, and itty bitty woman with dark hair sat down next to me. Somehow, we got to talking about Japanese internment camps in the US and her trip to Japan and how she was treated there being half-Japanese. She said her relatives there warned her about the Yakuza and how to avoid parts of town they tend to be in because they always try to use hapa women for pornos. She laughed and said, "Hey, it might've paid for part of the trip!" She was talking about a red light district she accidentally wandered into and all the weird stuff there that she didn't understand one single bit. Men being put into diapers! All sorts of stuff! I started telling her about a half-Japanese woman I know who does lectures about sexuality in Japan and how she teaches classes on kenbaku/shibari and that she also has a friend who teaches tea ceremony. The woman stared at me, then said, "Oh! Are you... you must be that sister!" I grinned and told her yes, I was that sister, and then the hundred questions started.
She was genuinely curious, and not really someone who'd be getting into the scene herself, but was absolutely fascinated with a subculture she'd never otherwise get a glimpse at. She was asking me questions about kink in Japan, which I couldn't answer as well as I'd have liked, but we were able to talk about gender and how it's expressed in various cultures and how people find a balance between individual expression and what a culture says you're allowed to express. She'd been partially raised Buddhist and also is mixed race, which I told her I suspected left her a lot more comfortable and less threatened by different cultures. She thought about that for a bit and how her mother had approached various things as they came up and agreed that that probably had a lot to do with her comfort level.
One of the other women on my sister's block was getting pretty lit a couple of hours into the party. She'd come to a suprise birthday party at my old house that I'd thrown for my sister a few years ago and had gotten a dungeon tour in the basement way back then. She teetered over to me while the nice hapa lady and I were talking and joined in the conversation. She loudly announced that I couldn't shock her, no WAY, cuz she'd seen my dungeon! Yeah! She nodded knowingly at anyone around her that might be listening. I had to laugh. Plus she had on some bitchin' red/white/blue toenail polish she'd gotten done just for the occasion, and I had to admire that at length.
Other than the drunk guy hassling me about sitting under an umbrella in the direct afternoon sun, it was a pretty good party. |
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| Today |
[Jun. 28th, 2009|11:06 pm] |
we had someone come in who was so nervous, he nearly burst into tears when I offered him a hug to help him relax. He ended up asking for an extra hour after his initial time was up, so I guess we got him to relax after all.
Banzai got a little swimming lesson today. He likes to be able to feel the creekbed under his feet, but he wanted some sticks real bad and risked sticking his neck waaaay out and losing his footing. I held him up a bit so he could learn that it's possible to move around in water by moving your paws, and so that he could see that you can get your whole head under water and still not die.
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| I am the Napalm Queen! |
[Jun. 26th, 2009|11:59 am] |
I have only just learned, after a decade of doing fire play with hand sanitizer as well as isopropyl alcohol, that hand sanitizer on fire = napalm. What kind of crazy person would do such a thing? Hand sanitizer is a gel that you can light on fire and napalm is a gel that you can light on fire, therefore hand sanitizer = napalm. I'm bad, oh yes. It has even been suggested that fire play with hand sanitizer should be banned at clubs because, hey, who wants a napalm incident, am I right?
Specifically, I am given to understand that there may be some brand of hand sanitizer that exists that, when lit on fire, has ingredients that are the equivalent of napalm. Noooo difference atall. This means, naturally, that all hand sanitizers are suspect and that the government is far too stupid to realize they've just put napalm into the hands of the great unwashed cuz they know we'd never do anything, like, irresponsible with flammable substances.
I snark.
But seriously. WTF. This is a new one on me. So far, I've been told by people who don't do fire play but know all about it that hand sanitizer and styling mousse are toxic. The person circulating the hand sanitizer = napalm crap is someone who I assumed would know better, who has had ample opportunity to discuss it with me directly, and has not.
I certainly hope nobody who's ever used soap on their skin ever does a fire scene involving petrochemicals. Cuz petrochemicals plus soap definitely equals napalm. |
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| I need a yard bitch |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|12:45 pm] |
for pay or spankings. The lawn is almost two weeks overdue for a mowing. The person that had committed to doing it was supposed to be over on Friday and didn't show.
Hep me, hep me pease, baby baby. |
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| Mommy's Little Fucker is Still Alive |
[Jun. 23rd, 2009|12:13 pm] |
he has failed to piss me off enough to kill him and has thus made it through an entire year of life as of today.
Happy Birthday, Banzai!
He may get a booty call with his girlfriend today. And a hamburger. |
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| Fruity mutt |
[Jun. 20th, 2009|07:12 pm] |
Banzai is outside eating his second huge slice of seedless watermelon. When he came back inside to beg for the second slice, I looked out the window to see if he'd really eaten the first. I saw a rind lying on the grass, no trace of red left on it at all.
Yesterday, while I was making fettouch (marinated veggies), he was begging for that, too. I gave him a scoop of it in his bowl and he finished it in a few seconds and begged for more. He spit out the parsley but ate everything else.
What a freak. |
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| That was a blast |
[Jun. 20th, 2009|02:30 pm] |
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We had a FuK party at the dungeon last night. The crowd wasn't huge to the point where people couldn't move around comfortably, but people played more last night than I think I've seen yet. That was so good to see. |
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| Talcum powder and a nice chianti |
[Jun. 18th, 2009|03:51 pm] |
I was chatting recently with a friend who's into age play, among lots of other things. We were talking about other people we know who are into it as diaper wearers or designated adults and how the experience and kink seems to be a litlte bit different for everyone. For some of our friends, it's very sexual. For some, it's sexual but primarily something they do privately, without a partner. For some of the people we know who like putting people in diapers, it's sexual. For others, it isn't. My friend was saying that for her, it's very non-sexual and it's not something she'll do on her own or with just anyone. Because it was the middle of the night for me - 5am - and because I'm a jerk, I joked, "So it's got to be womantic, with candlelight and soft music?" She said that wasn't it all, but that she couldn't do diaper play solo because the whole thing about diapers for her is that when you're really at diaper-wearing age, there's always an adult around who's taking care of you, putting you in diapers and giving you a bottle and all that, and having someone do that for her got her into that headspace.
I thought that was pretty interesting. |
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| Can't take me anywhere |
[Jun. 17th, 2009|01:15 am] |
I took a friend out for a movie tonight. We decided to see "Drag Me to Hell". I sliced up some oranges and brought along a couple of hard ciders in my big bag and put the bottles on opposite sides so they wouldn't clank. I surprised her with one when we sat down.
I like Sam Raimi flicks because they're just cheesy enough that I don't get too scared. I like a lot of laughter with my fear and he delivers. "Bubbo Ho Tep" was much better, but this one had some pretty good parts. I think my favorite involved a stapler.
After the movie, I asked her if she wanted to see another one. She grinned. We wandered around to see what was playing soonest that we both wanted to see and ended up going to see "Up". We missed the first 10 minutes or so, but we weren't bitching, considering. C kept giggling because we were being bad. We would've had fewer options available to us, but they seemed to be short-staffed and didn't have anyone at all checking tickets. Woot. |
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